bad ass


Holy crap, again! Last week I started my Ju Jitsu class again and I'm already injured. First day, I hyperextended my right elbow; third day Mark tried to show of and twisted my knee the wrong way, causing me to limp around like a gimp for the next two days. And of course my left wrist is just constantly hurting, as it's been for about 2 years now, for no reason at all. We got a lot of new people though, which was awesome, but the Saturday class was uber lame. Only 6 people showed up, including me and the instructor. I was so bored after two hours that I left early.

The building where I work is still closed due to water damage so I've been having to go on Home Visits to the kid's houses and do random activities with them. This sucks for the following reasons: I have to drive around all day using my own gas; my assistant doesn't have a car so I have to do all the driving; I take lunch between visits which means I spend more money on usually unhealthy fast food; I'm constantly getting lost trying to find these people's houses with google directions and no idea where I'm going; I have to call all the parents and I hate calling people, especially people I don't know; and here's one major reason I don't like driving around all day not knowing where I'm going: today I actually got into an accident because I thought I'd missed the road I needed and went to turn around, but then realized that I actually needed to turn right at the next road. So I began to pull into the right lane and ended up sideswiping a car that was driving past. Luckily the woman in the other car said that her car was old it wasn't worth the time it would take to exchange information and get the damage fixed. It could've been a lot worse, and THAT is why I hate driving around fucking baltimore streets with nothing but a sheet of road names to tell me where I need to go. And on top of it my assistant started freaking out, talking about being in 3 accidents already, and I wanted to just be like, oh my god chill out a little, everything's fine. But whatever. I'm pissed about the whole thing because I'm normally a good driver and this stupid work shit making me all flustered ruined my good record.

So anyway, I did Liz's survey. Random and abrupt transition as that was. Deal with it.

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wtf mate

(no subject)

According to my last post, I haven't updated since I was still at Loyola. So, update to the highest power, bullet style cause I don't have the energy to write long, coherent paragraphs.

- I graduated in May. My degree: BA in sociology.
- I worked ridiculous hours all summer at the tkd camp only to be screwed royally by my boss because I had the nerve to seek out a higher paying job rather than work for his cheap ass being his bitch and not making enough money to pay my bills. Which leads to...
- I did get a new job as a preschool teacher for Headstart. If this confuses you, just close your mouth and don't worry about it. It's a great job and the kids are adorable. I have all 4 year olds it's still very new and scary and now our building has severe water damage so I have off tomorrow. Hmm, cool?
- I brought Kali, one of my kitties to live with me. I think she likes being the only cat here, she seems less pissy than she used to.
- I'm completely broke, but that's not a surprise.
- Stress has been at high levels lately. Things with Kevin, however, are very good. Despite a few bumps, I'd say my current relationship is the best of any I've had. He even used the phrase "our kids." You know that's big.
- I have hope for the future, but lately I've been breaking down a lot under stress, mostly due to a lack of money and being overwhelmed by a new job. The last time a got a paycheck was about 4 weeks ago (for a measly $193), and Kevin's job has turned out to be more of a sham than the economic savior we'd been hoping for. Needless to say, this current situation blows.

So I was gonna post some random pictures but I'm too lazy. Look here for recent art and such. Hopefully I'll get some more up soon.

Adieu for now.
bad ass


Sunday 2:48pm. I have a ton of reading to do because I somehow got really behind in my schoolwork. Which is frustrating mainly because I'm so sick of school and so ready to be done with it that I just want to get it the fuck over with and it's once again consuming my life. I feel very much in a rut lately, I'm bored with my job but mostly just annoyed with my overly critical boss. I have all these things I could or should be doing and most of the time I just sit around thinking about how I could be being so much more productive. Kevin just sits around smoking and playing video games while I'm at work or at school or cleaning my apartment or what have you. It doesn't really bother me but I wish I could play games all day and not have to worry about shit.

I went to a ju jitsu seminar yesterday in PA from 8am to 5pm. My whole body hurts now and I'm once again covered in bruises, so that was fun. I don't know what else to talk about so adios for now.
bad ass

(no subject)

I'm not sure if I remember how to do this. Should I do a massive Liz-style post to make up for lost time? Well I don't really feel like it. Holy shit I've been super busy lately. And for some reason I have no idea what to write about. The people above me are making a lot of noise, but that's not uncommon. All my activities are becoming kind of a pain in the ass. I get the distinct feeling that my boss thinks I'm lazy. I can't figure out why... you know. So I got this idea of getting a tattoo of a squirrel on my hip. I don't know why but I want to. I think I have an idea for the tattoo that I actually definitely want to get next. It involves leaves and the sides of my chest and stomach. Excitement. So this post is absolutely pointless, I hope if you read it you weren't really paying attention.
  • Current Music
    The Barenaked Ladies
bad ass

and time goes by so slowly

I'm listening to Savage Garden right now because that's how fucking awesome I am. I really need to stop spending money. I don't know what's happened to me but for the past few weeks I've been obsessed with buying new clothes. I think I'm going through some major changes in my life, and I'm tired of doing the same thing. I'm expanding, growing up if you will. Well that's my reasoning anyway, feel free to disagree.
In line with this change, I've made a few more resolutions I guess. I want to be more active and I'm trying to get into a habit of going running at least once a week at the FAC since I can still get in for free. And I need to start going to all of my martial arts classes since my boss wants to pull me on as an instructor when I get my black belt, which hopefully will be this spring. Til then I'll be training as an instructor and learning the curriculum for this school. My flexibility is improving a lot though and I feel way healthier this summer than I have in a long time. It's nice to be able to do 150 jumping jacks and 40 push ups and not be winded or sore. Though today I ate like a fat kid and took a nap after work, which I got to leave early because they had too many people. Oh well, I'll be better tomorrow. Maybe. Oh also, I got my hair cut. Not a lot because it was really long and I want to keep growing it out, but not cutting it for 2 years left some damage and I needed to take care of that. So I got about an inch and a half off and some deep layers to take care of my split ends that were all over the place. I love it a lot so happy faces.

Kevin and I are speaking and hanging out again, though I'm handling things differently now. If you think it's a mistake just know that I'm not dumb and I know what I'm doing. I know it must seem crazy but I have my reasons so just trust me.

Do you think I could be a singer and a photographer and a martial arts master and run a preschool and rescue the animals all at the same time? Perhaps I have too many ambitions.
bad ass


I can't believe I still feel shitty, it's been over 24 hours and my stomach is still queasy and angry at me. I'm starting to think that I can't drink anymore, my body reacts terribly to it and yesterday was by far the worst it's been in a while. I'm also sick so maybe that has something to do with it. Then I went to my boss's dinner party last night, feeling completely awful, and he asked me what I wanted to drink, referring to alcoholic beverages, and I was just like, you've gotta be kidding me. I begrudgingly asked for a kahula and cream so as not to be rude and sipped on it for like 3 hours.

Today I have to work for him for a little bit, though it's all voluntary so I can leave whenever I want or even call in and say that I'm not feeling well, but I do need the money so I guess I'll suck it up and do cleaning and yard work or whatever it is he needs help with. I'm debating on showering first cause I didn't yesterday, but I'm feeling super lazy so I probably won't.
bad ass

this entry makes me sound like a loyola girl

So fucked up last night. Drunk people destroyed my kitchen once again, but they brought a frozen pizza to make at 5am when I was passed out so no one ate my food this time. All in all it was a great night. I went shopping yesterday and got a bunch of new shirts and everything in Kohl's is on sale so I basically paid an average of $10 a shirt. Not too bad. If anyone knows where I can find short skirts this time of year I'd like to know cause the "fall fashions" are out an apparently people don't wear skirts in the fall so they're no longer in stores. The only reason I went shopping was buy skirts because it's fucking hot as hell and there was not a single one to be found.

There are people passed out in my living room right now. I think people may have had sex on my couch :/ By the way, if anyone wants to come over and drink, I've got an ass load of beer in my fridge that will not be touched by me because I hate beer. Please come over and dispose of it for me, and then play me in guitar hero. K? Cool.
bad ass

(no subject)

I was rejected, not because of a personality clash or some sort of acceptable non-dating qualities, but because of the kind of clothes I wear. Because I don't dress enough like a slutty vain girly girl and to him that makes me "un-dateable." There are reasons for rejection that I can accept and still maintain a decent friendship with that person. This is not one of those reasons and tonight I just lost one of my best friends because I kept holding out hope that deep down he wasn't the superficial ass hole that he constantly fronts in his image. And the sad thing is that on top of everything he's done to me I still miss him and I hate myself for it. Why can't I just let people go? Especially people who fuck me over on that level. I'm tired of being trampled on all the fucking time and I'm tired of never being good enough.

And on another note, today is my birthday. Happy birthday to me.
  • Current Mood
    pissed off pissed off
bad ass


I spent the last 2 days down in Chevy Chase helping Kevin pack his stuff for Hawaii. He was in a bad mood all day today and barely said two words to me. The last thing we did together was go to dinner with his dad on their way to New Jersey where they're gonna stay the night at his aunt's place and take off out of Philly tomorrow morning. Right at the end of dinner the two of them got into a fight about speeding tickets and car accidents or some shit and got him all pissed off, so then we're in the parking lot saying goodbye and I get a hug and a short kiss and a "see you later." And that was the last interaction we'll have for the next 6 months and I'm not feeling too great right now.

I'll probably go play guitar hero for a while and then pass the fuck out cause I got work tomorrow at 8. Here's hoping I can fall asleep well enough.
bad ass

much more detailed than normal update

I've been really busy lately. If you don't know I'm working at a camp 8-6 tuesday through friday and taking tae kwon do and ju jitsu classes monday through thursday. I've also been finding time to entertain and keep the company of my squatter who is moving to Hawaii in less than a week. I don't want to talk about it, the thought makes me wanna cry. So the past few weeks have been a blur of screaming children and late night cartoons because that's all I have the energy for at the end of the day. Except on weekends of course because fuck, I still need a life.

Friday night we did Sonar Liz and Neenan style, with a little Eric and even some Rosalie thrown in there. The night started off as usual, with everyone showing up at my place and Liz and Eric getting trashed before we even left. When we go there there was some dancing and some more drinking and that was all good times, except for some reason the lounge was like 30 billion degrees. But hot girls were singing so it was mixed emotions all around. But then there was drunken stumbling by the drunken Eric and glasses being lost and later found (well half of them were found) on the floor outside the men's bathroom. And there was puking and more stumbling and Liz and Eric getting kicked out and then me running around for 20 minutes trying to find the others, who mysteriously disappeared, so that we could leave and attend to certain very drunk individuals. So once I got everyone home there was bed making and passing out by some while others proceeded to eat all my food while I slept. Bitches. You know who you are and you owe me 3 Amy's organic quesadillas and 2 boxes of macaroni and cheese. But on the bright side no one trashed my apartment this time so I think I made out for the better.

Saturday was a day of hangovers for a few and delicious Chipotle, and even the massive traffic due to accidents was worth the amazingness of organic mexican food. Saturday night I drove down to Bethesda to see Alex for the first time in well over a year. Long story. We attended a small party, which was cut short due to the host losing a vile of coke or something to that nature and everyone getting kicked out and me having to drive Alex's car back because he was basically passed out and pretty much unwakeable. So I crashed there and rolled back to B-More sometime Sunday afternoon just in time for Kevin to get back from New York (did I mention he was in NY) and because I have off mondays we stayed up late watching the tele until I probably passed out.

We can skip monday because it was uneventful and unenticing.

Today at work was ridiculous. 10 hours straight, no breaks, kids everywhere and I don't know what it is but they're particularly hellish this week. I ended my night by watching 10 Things I Hate About You, which I absolutely adore, but of course watching movies about people in love just makes me sad and emo and so now I'm inevitably feeling super lonely. Fuck you emotional instability and my desire for human affection. Fuck you in the ass.

I'm satisfied with that ending. Now I have to make myself go to bed so I can get up at 6:30 and do this all over again.